Maria's Last Diet

Tomorrow I'm going on a diet

What does this mean to you?

Have you said it many times? What are you really saying?

• Tomorrow I'm going on a diet.
• Tomorrow my life will be much better.
• Tomorrow I'll get gorgeous.
• Tomorrow I won't be tired.
• Tomorrow my hair will shine, my clothes will fit, I'll be a success.
• Tomorrow my house will be in perfect order.
• Tomorrow my marriage will be ideal.
• Tomorrow I'll be rich.

Are you trying to use a diet to fix something a diet can't fix?

Maybe, if you can tell yourself what you're really after, you can work directly on those things. Then you might be very surprised at how much easier dieting will be.

Is there enough motivation in your weight loss program

Motivation to diet and lose weight can be affected by many things. sometimes hopelessness plays a part, sometimes disappointment, and sometimes even just being tired can get in the way.

We tend to think of motivation as a particularly magical mindset that some people have and some people don't. It really doesn't work that way. Motivation can come and go for all of us - it can be high at times, it can be low at times.

Really sticking with something may take just a little extra thought and consideration, digging just a bit deeper, reaching just one more level of understanding beyond where you are now.

When being social helps your weight loss plan and when it hurts it

In social situations like dinner parties, office picnics, and weddings, the social situation can make it easier for a person to use highly practiced skills and to improve abilities that are well-established. Skills that are still being learned, not yet built into lasting abilities, however, can be disrupted by these same social situations.

Being self-assured as well, makes it even more likely that social situations will improve  skills and enhance abilities.

Being apprehensive, on the other hand, has just the opposite effect on a person's competency.

What does this mean for dieting and weight loss?

It means that for social events, make sure your diet skills are well-practiced. If so, you'll find yourself in the enviable position of having the social situation improve your proficiency in sticking to your weight loss plan.

If you're socially apprehensive, though, it's a different story. You'll have the best chance to keep to your diet plan if you find ways to make yourself feel more secure before you go to the party. Then once you're at the party, you too will be able to use the social situation to improve both your security and your dieting and weight loss skills.

Do you always break your diet?

There's a real art to breaking your diet. It takes incredible skill and persistence and lots and lots of practice.

It taps into abilities you may not even know you have. To become a master diet-breaker you must be willing to do the following again and again.

• Turn you back on what you really want
• Feel like a failure
• Keep the weight on
• Kill your thin dreams
• Be hopeless
• Refuse to change
• Shut out what's really going on with you

Remember, practice makes perfect.

Weight loss plan for Gina

Gina told us this:

The hardest part of a diet is that it is a diet. I have to limit certain groups of foods and exclude others. I do not have free choice of everything possible and it makes me feel constricted. That's what leads me to be bad, to binge, to put back in my mouth those thngs I have a right to have.

Even if the diet is good for me, even if I actually like it, I go off because I feel like I HAVE A RIGHT TO HAVE IT ALL.

Meanwhile, I'm seriously overweight and I have to keep saying it doesn't matter. I'm suffering physically.

If Gina were to think just one layer deeper, she might discover some things. She might find out what lies unspoken beneath her words.

To go to that deeper level, she could ask

• What do I mean, "I want it all"?
• Do I feel deprived in other ways?
• Have I always felt this way?
• Am I deprived of other things in my life that I need and want?
• Does eating it all give me what I'm looking for?

Gina doesn't have to have all the answers on the spot. She doesn't need to analyze every bit of her behavior. She doesn't even have to look into her past, unless she wants to. If she could just consider these relevant questions, just keep them in mind, she would begin to change, and she would begin to solve her weight problem.

The weight loss tip to remember: It's never just about food

We all know this, but we forget.

We forget in the face of the next new diet, the latest thinking in how best to metabolize fat, how to not be hungry, how to lose it quicker than quick. These ideas are seductive and they help us forget the real deal.

Permanent weight loss, which is the only kind of weight loss that matters (Who wants to keep losing it and gaining it back?) requires personal change that lasts. The process of personal change is not quicker than quick, but it is what works.

Here's an example. Do you make sure to ignore any physical repercussions of being overweight? If you get extra tired, or can't move the way you want to, do you tell yourself "this is because of my weight"? Or do you push it to a far corner of your mind?

If you don't recognize the ramifications of being overweight, you can always say to yourself "it doesn't matter, I'll be okay without losing this weight", and then go ahead and break your diet.

The food matters but there's a lot more to it than that.

Weight loss and smoking

Dear Maria...I just lost 25 lbs and look great, but I started smoking again. Which is worse?

You are not alone. There is a phenomenon called "addiction transfer", which involves trading one addiction for another. Addiction transfer is being studied in people who lose weight through bariatric surgery and then go on to abuse alcohol or drugs.

Perhaps after losing your weight you're experiencing cravings. Since you no longer use food to answer your cravings, you are turning to smoking. One thing is for sure - smoking poses great danger to your health.

There are several possibilities that may help. You can consult your physician regarding medication to help with cravings. You can also seek counseling to learn ways to cope with and overcome your cravings and any tendency you have for addiction transfer.

Diet successfully? Of course you can.

If you've dieted and failed, you must realize that it's not the diet per se that brings successful weight loss. It's what you as the dieter bring to your diet plan that'll make yours a weight loss success story.

What if you don't have what it takes to defeat overeating and gaining weight? What if you don't have enough determination, you aren't really emotionally ready, have only limited hope, are having trouble coming up with workable solutions, and don't have a real belief in yourself?

So Dear Dieter, if you don't have enough of what you need, are you the kind of person who can go get it? Where, you ask?

Have you looked carefully inside yourself to see if you have some it there?

Haven't you ever solved something that was hard for you?

Why don't you look for what helped you succeed and use those very same parts of you all over again.

In fact, the test for dieters always is - Can you take what you already have and use it for the more troublesome areas of overeating, diet, and weight loss?

Here are two things that might help you in your quest. One is a challenge: Let's see if you can do it. The other is reassurance: Of course you can.

Two kinds of weight loss information

Dear Maria...I so really need to find info on weight loss and get it in my mind to stick to it.

You're right. The most important thing about weight loss information is to get it in your mind and keep it there. What you need to keep in mind, first of all, is that there are two kinds of weight loss information: one, information about weight loss and the other, information about you personally.

Here's some straight weight loss information - You need a good diet plan that's right for you. Remember, "right for you" is key. Make it your own choice. Also, it's best not to hurry. Slower weight loss gives you lots of opportunity to change your old patterns and learn new, better ways. This is how you can keep the weight off for good.

Now some information about you - Food has been a close friend of yours for some time now. No one wants to lose a close friend. It hurts. It makes you feel lonely and uncared for. Sometimes you need to get rid of a close friend, especially if that friend is hurting you. If you think about all it takes to make a new friend, it's easy to see why you've been sticking with the old one.

When you go after good weight loss information, don't forget to get both kinds.

Ultimate Diet Tip

plan menu for party

get candles and napkins

mail package to california

bring pants to cleaners

take cake out of freezer sat a.m.

send bday card to Barbara

call piano tuner

break lunch date with toni for fri

get stamps - .39, 5 $1, 6 priority

shoes for party

go on a diet (Why not put this first?)