All my life I wanted to be thin.
Really? Since when?
Since I was about 11.
Were you fat then?
No, but my mother was scared I would get fat. She limited what I ate.
That must have been hard.
I hated it. Other kids had candy in the house, but not us. We had all health food.
Yuck.
None of my friends ever wanted to come over after school. Who wants an apple and whole grain toast for a snack?
I like that stuff.
Me too, now. But not then.
Well, how much do you have to lose?
The same 30 lbs as always. And that only brings me down to 130. I guess I just want to be average now. I don't even care about being so thin anymore.
Maybe it was your mother who cared so much.
She still does. Every time I see her, she looks me over top to bottom.
Thirty pounds isn't so much.
No.
So why don't you do it?
I think I've just come to the idea that 130 is an OK weight. I used to shoot for 115, and I could never get there. So if I did lose weight, I'd just gain it back out of frustration.
You don't look so fat to me.
No, but you know what? I feel like crap. I can't run after Chloe without getting breathless. I eat too much and I get miserable. And all the clothes that I'd love to wear don't look good on me. This time, it's for me, not for what anyone else thinks.
Great attitude.
I'm glad I finally said it out loud like this.
OMG!!! this is exactly how I've felt my entire life and by entire I mean my 22 years of age!!
Thanks for posting this, it's been of great inspiration
Posted by: Kayu | Wednesday, January 23, 2008 at 03:37 PM