Maria's Last Diet

What Zaps Dieting Motivation Like Nothing Else?

by Maria's Last Diet

Do you have a bad habit of all-or-none thinking?

For example, do you think of yourself as having to be at your ideal weight, and anything other than that means you're fat or that you haven't succeeded? It would be good to shake yourself loose from this misconception.

All-or-none thinking can take away your dieting motivation like nothing else. You won't be able to feel pride in any smaller steps toward success that you might take. And because it's probably hard for you to reach your ideal weight, like it is for mostly everyone, you don't want there to be too much self-
dissatisfaction in the process.

All-or-none thinking puts this extra burden of self-dissatisfaction on you, because to be satisfied with yourself you have to reach the "all". Anything less becomes the "none", not the "I'm getting there, good for me."  See the difference?

So, if you've lost some weight, but your ideal weight is still a ways off, and you're feeling pretty discouraged, take a look and see if the cause of your discouragement is all-or-none thinking. If you find this is the case, see if you can mix in a large dollop of some "I'm getting there, good for me", and an increase in dieting motivation is sure to follow.

I'm Hungry All The Time

by Maria's Last Diet

Dear Maria...

I'm hungry all the time.

How can a person who's hungry all the time lose weight? It's impossible.

At least, that's what I thought. I've been reading your posts, and they are helping me to figure myself out.

Because you're big on thinking about things, I decided to really take note of this idea I have that I'm hungry all the time.

I kept a little notebook and pen in my purse and for one week I wrote down all the times I felt hungry. It turned out, surprisingly, I only wrote down about three times a day - and a couple of days, only twice.
So I'm beginning to realize the hungry-all-the-time excuse is lame.

Now I have a bigger issue - if that's a false reason, what is the real reason I can't lose weight? That's my new quest.

When Emotional Eating Can't Be Avoided

by Maria's Last Diet

Jamie began noticing that she went to food anytime she judged herself negatively. Whenever she blamed herself for something, or felt as though she hadn't lived up to the vision of herself as she wanted to be, she went right for the food - right to overeating, to junk food, to nighttime eating, to snacking, to secret eating.  She did it all.

She's now holding tightly to this idea of thinking negatively about herself without minimizing it. Jamie finally acknowledged her own role in judging herself negatively. Where she had been used to thinking that she hated being judged by others, she was now seeing that she herself was her own harshest critic.

Jamie began clarifying this more and more for herself. She was for the first time seeing a truth with an open mind: She often hurt herself unnecessarily. Because she did damage to herself with her self-critical thoughts, she then felt the need to repair the damage, soothe herself, calm herself down, and so food, food, food.

As she attempted to understand the process of going from self-harm to self-repair, she realized that she had been doing it for a long, long time.

What Might an Overweight Woman Say (to Herself)

by Maria's Last Diet


Who cares if I eat way too much?

Who cares if I wear a size 14, when I used to wear an 8?

Who cares if every diet fails me and leaves me fatter?

Who cares if I'm not thin at my age?

Who cares if I'm too embarrassed to go to the beach?

Who cares if I detest how I look?

Who cares if I eat just to feel better but don't?

Who cares if I need to wear all blacks and browns?

Who cares if my feet hurt?

Who cares if I sneak candy?

Who cares if I feel like the fattest woman in the room?

Who cares if I no longer turn heads?

Who cares?

I care.

Dieting from the Inside Out

by Maria's Last Diet

Whatever food plan you choose, the real work of losing weight goes on inside. The work is thoughtful, it's questioning, it's a matter of feeling, it's a matter of time, it's a matter of increasing awareness. It is very different from the hustle and bustle of the diet plan itself, with weighing and planning and preparing and measuring and restricting. The real work of dieting isn't the noisy part, it's the quiet part.

Holiday Diet Help (HELP!!). It's Memorial Day.

by Maria's Last Diet

Yes, Memorial Day in America is a commemorative holiday, an important day to remember those who were lost to us by war. It used to be called Decoration Day, and it was always celebrated, at least in the past, on May 30th. Now it's one of those floating holidays and it was placed on the Sunday before the last Monday in May and then placed again on the last Monday in May. I hope it stays where it is.

Memorial Day is not only a legal holiday. It is not only a day to remember. It is not only a day for parades and ceremonies. It is a day of families and friends being together. And being together always means eating.

What's a person who is dieting to do? Memorial Day is just like Labor Day and Easter and Thanksgiving and Christmas and July 4th. These are days for eating, overeating really, and that's the trouble with holidays.

Well, come to think of it, not all holidays are a danger. Some are on the cusp, like Saint Paddy's Day and Columbus Day if you're Irish American or Italian American. You don't have to eat 'til you drop on these holidays. Or do you?

Then there are the really safer holidays. Presidents' Day, although it used to be two safer non-eating holidays - Washington's and Lincoln's birthdays, is now just one safer non-eating day. Of course, Martin Luther King's birthday, which is no longer actually celebrated on his birthday, is also a day that is safer from overeating and gaining weight. Lent is safer. So is Yum Kipor if you're a Jewish American or if you have a Jewish American friend who invites you to celebrate with her.

Thank goodness there are some safer holidays out there. But what good is that going to do me now. Today is Memorial Day. 

Is Losing Weight Too Hard for You?

by Maria's Last Diet

Do you want to have dramatic and sustained progress toward your weight loss goal? If so, you need to transcend the idea that a diet alone is the answer.

The reason the diet is a tool, but not the whole answer, has to do with the "sticking-to-it" factor. A diet is there - helpful as a set of guidelines, something to lean on - but it's only as good as your ability to stay on it.

So, how do you do that? One way, one powerful way, is to keep this in mind: You want to lose weight, but you may also not want to lose weight.

The NOT wanting to often interferes with the wanting to, and can creep in unnoticed, and wreck your diet. So, where does it come from? The NOT wanting to often comes from something quite basic - a natural resistance to change. This resistance is not unusual at all. We want things to continue as they are, even when they make us uncomfortable and we really want to change. Even really wanting to change sometimes can't counterbalance our tendency to want to keep things as they are.

See if this idea applies to you. Consider whether you sabotage your own efforts.

Change is hard for everyone. The more you find out about your resistance, the more changes you'll be able to make.

Dieting Motivation for the Dieter Who Has Tried and Failed

by Maria's Last Diet

What do my past dieting attempts tell me?

Well, if I just look at 15 of them, one by one, they tell me I'm a dieting failure. They tell me I'm completely inept when it comes to the weight loss challenge. They tell me I have no willpower or self-control. They tell me I will always be too fat, I always will weigh 25 or so lbs too much.

Except now I don't think like this anymore, because my 16th diet was a big, outrageous success.

What I say now is I didn't fail at dieting 15 times. Reaching my weight loss goal was a journey of 16 steps.

What Are Good Reasons to Lose Weight?

by Maria's Last Diet

Many people are conflicted about weight. Some don't even know for sure whether they actually need to lose weight or not.

If you find yourself conflicted about losing weight, you might consider certain things in your life and whether or not they are being negatively affected by your weight. Here are three major areas of consideration. Be tough on yourself and give straight answers.

• Self-esteem and self-confidence. Is either of these diminished by your current weight or your eating behavior?

• Health. To the best of your knowledge, is your health being harmed by your weight or your eating?

• Fitness. Are your physical abilities diminished by your weight? For example, do you have less energy or get out of breath easily?

These are three very important points to address. It goes without saying that if the answer to these three questions is yes, you should think seriously about changing your eating habits and/or your weight.

Lots of Weight Loss Support Goes a Long Way

by Maria's Last Diet

In psychological research on personal change, one significant factor in being able to change is having helping relationships. Exactly what does this mean?

It means that you need to be willing to ask for support from the people around you who love you and care about you when you are dieting and trying to lose weight.

For some women, this seems hard. Some don't feel they deserve help. Some don't want to appear too needy if they ask for this. Some think they should maintain a superwoman image and let nothing spoil it. Are you one of these women?

Research shows it helps to talk with people close to you about what you are trying to do. Making a "public" declaration of your intentions reinforces your intentions. Losing weight with a partner accounts for greater success than doing it alone.

Having a few supporters is great, but just one will do. Find at least one person who knows how to listen. Pick a person you can count on when the going gets rough. Losing weight is usually a lengthy process. So get someone who can stay the course with you.

By letting others in to give you weight loss support you are putting into practice cutting-edge research on how best to make personal changes.