One thing we all know about is how imposing strict rules can have a paradoxical effect. Certainly, substance abusers - people who have problems with smoking, drugs, food - have seen this effect at work in themselves.
Have you?
You need to lose weight. You go on a weight-loss diet, and tell yourself NO candy, bread, ice cream, chips, fast food, etc. But the energy it takes to stifle the longing for the "forbidden" can trigger the opposite response - an increased desire for just what's been forbidden.
Yet you can't lose weight by eating all the junk food, sugar, etc. What to do?
One helpful concept is to concentrate on "I WILL" do such and such, rather than "I WILL NOT" do such and such.
So, let's say you're dieting, and you're going out to dinner with friends. Instead of recounting the rules of what NOT to do or what NOT to have, how about looking on the positive side, what you WILL do or have.
For instance:
- I'll bring with me a note to myself and pull it out of my purse just before I order. It will remind me of what I want for myself.
or
- I'll see my old favorites on the menu and I'll tell myself after I lose the weight, I can certainly have this from time to time, just not right now.
or
- Before we order I'll tell my friends about how much I want to stay on my weight-loss diet, and enlist their helpfulness and support.
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