Is this you? You can't stop overeating, and you're afraid people don't change?
People do change, no doubt about it. But the truth is people do not change overnight. There is nothing sudden about intentional personal change. It is always a process, and it takes the time it takes.
There is solid research in the area of personal change, and some good books written on the subject. One book you might want to read is Changing for Good by James Prochaska, Ph.D. and colleagues.
An important thing to consider if you are feeling as though change is impossible for you is this. Before you can change anything about yourself, you must become aware of your defenses against change.
We have a natural resistance to changing things about ourselves. It’s probably human nature to want to keep the status quo and not rock the boat too much. But that doesn’t mean you can’t become conscious of your self-defeating defenses―those things you do that always get in your way. You certainly can. Becoming self-aware is essential here, so you will need to do some consciousness raising. This is not as hard as it sounds. In the case of not being able to stop a problem behavior such as overeating, you can begin by simply paying attention to all the things you do to keep this habit going. This is a good first step.
For example:
- Do you shift the blame to someone or something else?
- Do you overeat and then forget you did it?
- Do you rationalize about your overeating, thinking that you just need it for your health?
- Do you tell yourself that if you ate less, you’d lose your strength?
- Do you keep telling yourself the time isn’t right?
These are some defenses you may use, but such things are very personal. It is likely that you have your own unique thoughts and feelings and behaviors to acknowledge, and change.
There is real hope for you. Any self-defeating defense can be transformed. What it takes is being brave enough to become self-aware, and to confront the defenses you now use that work against you. Then it becomes much easier to learn new behaviors that will work on the side of losing the weight. At that point, it will be your job to practice the new behaviors until they become part of you.
Knowledge about yourself is the key that opens the door to change.
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