by Maria's Last Diet
This woman was eating herself up. She didn't think of it this way. She called it her up and down moods, her anxieties, her depression, her anxiety attacks, her binge eating. She was terribly overweight, and she felt embarrassed about her appearance. Yet she kept eating herself up.
Oh, she functioned and fit in well socially with friends and family--as if nothing was wrong. She worked, earned a living, was raising her son, and was in a committed relationship with her live-in boyfriend. Even she believed this side of her. But she knew the other sides of her as well.
She took medication for her depression and anxiety for years, but the up and down moods, etc. didn't remit. Of course not. She was still eating herself up alive.
The breakup with her boyfriend finally pushed her into psychotherapy where she began to learn that she was eating herself up by taking so much blame on herself. No matter what others did, there was always a lot of blame she could level at herself. Her therapist caught her doing this time after time after time, and they talked about it together over and over in many different ways.
It took a long time for this woman to stop blaming herself completely. But along the way gradually, steadily, she stopped eating herself up as much, and lo and behold, she began losing some weight. She was not eating herself up like she had been, and there was now no reason for her to fill back up her half-eaten self by binging and overeating.
This beautiful, valuable, smart, funny, lovely, loving, caring, lovable woman has turned the corner on blaming herself, and she is now 75 pounds lighter.