Maria's Last Diet

Self Help for Women When It Comes to How to Lose Weight and Keep It Off

by Maria's Last Diet

Self-help guides aren’t much help—if you don’t really use them to help yourself.

A diet book, an exercise regimen, weight-loss psychology: put all of them under the heading of self-help tools.

After you’ve bought the new diet book, looked up a good exercise regimen, learned about the importance of the psychology of weight loss, the hardest thing is to get yourself to use these weight-loss aids. This is a chronic problem for many women—actually using the self-help guide they have at hand.

Interestingly, this problem of using what’s good for you—called adherence or compliance—is rampant. Many people can’t get themselves to do what is best for them. Take the surprising case of your doctor prescribing a necessary, maybe life-changing medicine for you. What’s surprising is that the adherence rate—those who take their medicine—is only about fifty percent. What’s with the other fifty?

That’s what you’re up against when you try weight-loss self help. But in weight loss the adherence statistics for a regimen that leads to permanent weight loss are much worse. At least eighty percent of you aren’t going to make it. Actually doing it, and sticking with it, of course, is necessary for good results.

Recent research shows that specific planning is the catalyst you need to Psych Yourself to START, Psych Yourself to STICK TO IT, and Psych Yourself to KEEP IT OFF. In the simplest terms, specific weight-loss planning means that beforehand you select any number of situations or opportunities you know will occur and spell out a plan for what you can do when these situations arise.

Can you see the benefit of getting yourself to make these specific plans? What you’re doing is putting yourself into action (thinking action) when it comes to self-help

Examples:

Dieting Help—“I will keep to the set number of calories on my diet weekdays, but give myself some relief on the weekends. This will accomplish two things for me: 1. I won’t feel so restricted and 2. This will give me practice in going “back on”, which is what I’ll need to know how to do when I’ve reached my weight-loss goal and am no longer on a diet.”

Good Exercises to Lose Weight—“I don’t like exercise, and anyway the research shows that exercise doesn’t help you lose weight. I’ll make sure I work harder on the calories-in side of the equation. BUT…I know when I exercise that my body feels better. That’s one thing. I know too when I exercise I feel better as a person—more motivated. So, I’ll do what’s called lifestyle exercise. I’ll make sure I park at the far end of the parking lot and take a nice walk to and from the supermarket. I’ll even go up and down the stairs a few times each day rather than making it all in one trip. I will count all that I physically do as exercise so I don’t feel discouraged about never exercising. After all, exercise is not simply treadmilling, elliptical training, working the weights, or walking those two to three miles with my friend each winter morning.”

Psychology for Weight Loss—“Since I know that very specific planning will enhance my chances of starting a diet, sticking to the diet, and maintaining weight loss, I will plan to plan. I will plan for not feeling motivated too. For I know that’s always been my downfall. I have even set up some key words for planning. They are ‘when’ and ‘then’. When such and such happens, then I’ll do such and such.”

It’s strange to say, but you probably know it—self-help needs your help.

 

For that Awful, Lonely Weight Loss Challenge, Where’s the Help When You Need It?

by Maria's Last Diet

Help! Somebody do something!

No answer.

Somebody tell me what to do to lose this weight already!

Silence.

But you said this diet would work better than any other, and it hasn’t. So I want my money back.

The only sound—raindrops on the roof.

Well, I’m just a big fat failure.

The words echoed in her head.

So, I guess I’m doomed to weigh 170 pounds for the rest of my life. Looks like it, doesn’t it?

The phone rang, she didn’t answer.

Other women can do it, I’ve read their stories of success. So why not me?

The refrigerator whooshed, the heat came blowing in from the vent.

Look, I can’t be the world’s worst overeater. There must be help for me from somewhere.

The sun began to set on the day.

I don’t want to be fat any more.

She smiled, just slightly.

Somehow, it felt like something had finally changed.

 

Weight Loss Support Can Make All the Difference

by Maria's Last Diet

Maybe you have thoughts and feelings about how much your eating bothers you.

Who else have you told?

It can really help to talk about it with someone, someone you trust to listen with an open mind and heart. Some women talk to a close friend, some to a sister, some to a therapist or counselor.

What happens when you let someone else in to your struggle is that the interchange can make things clearer to you. First of all, just saying out loud something like: I’m driven to eat when I don’t really want to—just saying it, admitting it, letting someone else hear it who might not think it’s the worse thing in the world can help you understand yourself better, and even accept yourself better.

Then, other people can often help you figure out what to do, if the problem has been too difficult for you to solve. Other people can give you fresh insights, maybe coming from problems they themselves have had in life and were able to solve.

Being secretive about certain things because we’re too embarrassed to talk about them can sometimes hurt us. Reaching out to another person for help and support can break you out of a problem, especially one that you’ve not been able to find an answer to.

 

Weight Loss Success Means Asking for Help

by Maria's Last Diet

Asking for help and getting it are important components of weight-loss success. 

How many times have you tried to muddle through a dieting regimen without getting the most help you could from your family and friends? What kind of help are we talking about here? Well, everything from lots of encouragement to outright changes your family and friends make to insure your success. For example, your family eats what you are eating; friends get together with you on occasions other than lunches and dinners.  

But did you know that it is hard for people to ask for help? Is it hard for you to ask for help when it comes to dieting and losing the weight? What prevents you from asking for help? Is it one more of the following:

• You are uncomfortable doing so
• you feel too vulnerable
• you are embarrassed
• you want to save face
• you feel the pressure of having to be self-sufficient
• you feel that it will strain the relationship with your helper

So, what to do if this describes you. One possibility is to choose wisely. Choose a “helper” who you can tell will take your feelings very much into consideration. Another possibility to break your pattern of not asking for help is to think of yourself as the “helper”. What if your friend needed your help, how would you respond? Wouldn’t you help her? Then try to put yourself in your friend’s shoes. Wouldn’t she want to do the same for you?

Stop Procrastinating. Start Dieting.

by Maria's Last Diet

You mean it when you say it. You are serious about it. You want to lose the weight, so you promise yourself you’ll start dieting. But how many of these dieting promises have you broken? How many times have said you’d do it and then put it off and put it off?

So many women want to lose the weight but have trouble getting started. This is understandable, especially for someone who has dieted before and failed. If you’re one of those people, you know how hard it is to overcome past failures and feel confident about attempting a weight-loss diet plan again.

Why not try a new way to get yourself ready to go? Why not try something completely different this time so you can finally stop procrastinating and start being the dieter you want to be? That’s what Maria did. She started by writing a letter.

Dear Food

I’m breaking up with you.

Don’t be surprised. I’ve certainly tried to do it many times before, but I always weakened and went back to you.

I finally woke up and realized this relationship is not good for me. I’m not getting what I need from you. It’s hurting me, not allowing me the space to grow in the ways I need to grow. You’re holding me back.

I know I’ll have separation anxiety, but I’ve stayed with you too long, way past when I should have. This just isn’t working for me. You don’t listen to me. You don’t give me attention. You don’t care about what I’m going through. It’s almost like you don’t have any feelings for me at all, yet I’ve stuck close to you, helpless and dependent.

I know you won’t let go of me so easily. I know you’ll keep calling me, asking me to come back. But please, let me go now.

In the beginning you were always there, ready to calm me and soothe me, but it went too far. I came to rely on you. I looked to you for everything. In all fairness, it was too much to ask of you. No way could you fulfill all my needs. For so long I’ve settled, afraid to go out there and find something better for myself. I need to do that.

I now withdraw my heart from you so I can be free to put it elsewhere, some place where I can be loved back. I’ve tried to break up with you before. This time it’s real. I want to be on the cutting edge of my own life, and I can’t do it while I’m still tied to you. Thinking about being free scares me, but I want it. I must have it. I think I’m brave enough at last.

I know I’ll long for you. I know I’ll think of you a lot, especially during those hard times. I know I’ll be tempted to come back to you. But this time I’ve got a plan, things I’m prepared to do when I get lonely and sad. I’ve been thinking of other ways to celebrate when I’m happy or proud. I have remedies in place for being bored or tired.

At this point you’re a troublemaker in my life and I intend to keep my emotional distance from you. So in a way, this is goodbye. Of course, I’ll still come into contact with you day to day, but let’s just be friends, not lovers.

Don’t cry (although you never do, it’s me who does all the crying).

If you’ve been struggling with a weight problem, you undoubtedly have your own unique, complicated relationship with food. Do you know how it works with you? Laying out the problem honestly the way Maria did can give you the extra push you need. It is like a breath of fresh air, taking you from procrastinator to starter in one heartfelt step: Dear food…

Can't Stop Bad Eating Habits: Should I See a Psychologist?

by Maria's Last Diet

It's not that people don’t want to do what they are supposed to do. It's that they often can't do what they are supposed to do. Lots of times, they need help. You wouldn't expect a patient with a heart condition to fix her own heart, would you? So why do you expect to fix your own bad habit—like smoking, overeating, whatever? We do expect ourselves to fix our behavior, and it's a hard thing to do.

Many people need medical attention because they haven't behaved like they should have, and they've let bad habits get the best of them. Even under these circumstances, we don't expect them to fix the results of their bad habits by themselves. We expect they will get the medical treatment they need for the conditions their bad habits helped to create.

What if this same attitude prevailed when it came to you losing the weight? You gained weight and maintained the weight. You didn't change those bad habits of yours. Wouldn't it make sense to get the help you need to fix the consequences of those bad habits?

If you were to adopt this idea, how would you go about implementing it? You certainly have options. Would you go to a psychologist? You could. There are psychologists who specialize in this kind of personal change.

We can take a page from the physician's book. An interventional cardiologist might do angioplasty and stenting. But this kind of hands-on care is not the usual cardiac care. The cardiologist who takes care of most people's hearts does not physically treat the hearts herself. What the physician does usually is she prescribes. She prescribes medicine, lifestyle change, an exercise regimen, dietary guidelines, and follow-up visits.

Psychologists, like the physician, recommend health aids. They prescribe such activities as response prevention practice, stimulus control techniques, labeling, exposure, nonjudgmental self-listening, mindfulness, and much, much more. These cognitive-behavioral health aids can take the form of workbooks, diaries, computer applications, and other helpful habit-breaking devices.

So, it is possible to get the help you need from a professional, not only through in-office counseling, but through prescription and application as well. You have to see what is right for you. It's best to think beyond the idea that you must change your bad habits all on your own.

If You Are an Overweight Woman, Should You Turn to Self-Help or Professional Help?

by Maria's Last Diet

Self-help is certainly a viable way to solve a problem. In the U.S. we are big users of self-help. Did you know there are at least 2000 self-help books published each year?

We usually think of self-help as being separate from more formal psychotherapy and counseling. However, many psychologists and other mental health professionals integrate self-help methods into their professional work. So the two can be separate, but they can also be combined.

As for your own personal situation, no one can answer the question for you. It is your decision to make. Some people find it easier to tackle being overweight by turning to a self-help group or self-help materials such as books, the internet, and inspirational films. The effectiveness of such methods has been documented in psychology research. People who were interviewed about their self-help activities rated them as being very instructive and beneficial.

Being overweight is a tough nut to crack for many women. As with other stubborn problems, solving the weight issue is a very personal matter that always involves behavior changes. Self-help materials or groups can be encouraging, inspirational, and a good source of information when you are attempting to make important changes in your behavior. Professional psychotherapy and counseling can also provide this help.

It really is a matter of what works for you. Take some time to consider what would be a good choice for you. Remember, this is not the kind of decision that’s written in stone. You can always change your mind. You can try one method and then move on to the other.

Weight Loss Support Does Not Mean Nagging

by Maria's Last Diet

Stop nagging!

Does someone close to you—someone who wants to help you lose the weight—resort to nagging, even without meaning to? The trouble is, nagging often makes us go the opposite way. This is because we sense someone telling us what to do as challenging our personal freedom.

You often hear people say you can only lose the weight when you want to, not because it's what someone else wants you to do. If a family member or a friend starts nagging, it's probably best to let the person know he or she isn't helping that way. Together you can surely find other ways for that person to give you weight-loss help and weight-loss support while you are trying to lose the weight.

You definitely need weight-loss support—just not in the form of nagging.

Can Physicians Do More for Overweight Patients?

by Maria's Last Diet

Excessive weight gain is a national problem. Physicians have been on the front lines of this problem for a long time now. Does this mean that physicians have not been doing their job?

The issue for doctors is the age-old problem of noncompliance. Noncompliance or poor treatment adherence is too much a reality in medicine. Doctors prescribe and patients are supposed to follow. But many times this is just not the case. Even pills that should be taken faithfully by patients, often are not. So how can doctors get their overweight patients to follow doctor’s orders? What can doctors do to help a patient get on a diet plan and adhere to the plan?

Here is a brief list of what doctors can do. See if you can add to this list.

• Don’t leave diet plan adherence to chance.
• Don’t just leave it all to the patient to do. Patients need dieting support.
• Give patients a professional resource to help them with the behavior and lifestyle changes that are always involved in the dieting and weight loss challenges.
• Prepare patients to realize that readiness for change comes way before change comes.
• Advise patients to choose a diet plan that is right for them.
• Explain that diet plan adherence can be measured in small successes. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.

So our questions to you are:

• Can you add to the list of things doctors can do to help their patients adhere to their diets?
• Has your doctor helped you with your weight loss goals?

Other women would love to hear what you have to say. Please feel free to comment.

Having Trouble Dieting? Get the Help You Need.

by Maria's Last Diet

Much of what we think of as “can’t stick to my diet” can be put under the heading of “can’t solve a problem”.

Dieting is one of those life situations where if you can’t do it easily, there’s a problem in the way. The problem requires an effective means of solving it. There can be more than one way to solve the problem. But, at the very least, one way must be found.

Once a solution is arrived at, it needs to be implemented so that it gets you to your goal—solving the problem so you can stay on your diet and lose the weight for good.

Research comparing weight-loss diets shows it is not the diet that counts; it is being able to get on the diet and stay on the diet you choose that makes the real difference.

Willpower alone is an unreliable source of energy for adhering to a dieting regimen. Willpower is easily depleted. Instead of counting on willpower, a dieter is more likely to stay on her diet plan if she solves whatever personal problems are interfering. Examples of such problems are: vulnerability to temptations, emotional eating, feeling deprived, negative thinking, hard to break habits, and low self-confidence.

When it comes to the “sticking-to-it” part of a diet, the dieter is usually left on her own. “Stick-to-your diet” helpers are not available the way food plans are.

Let’s take a look at some problems that threaten dieting and see how a “stick-to-your diet” helper can help solve them.

What if you can’t get started dieting? You think: I have absolutely no idea how to get motivated. I need to lose 30 lbs, no doubt about it, but I can’t get motivated enough to start.

Or: you eat secretly. What could you do instead of eating secretly? You have no idea. Can you take a walk? Can you take yourself away from the refrigerator and take a bath instead? No, those things are totally unsatisfying. So what can you do?

What if you get so hungry that you eat everything in sight while making dinner for the family? When you’re hungry, sometimes even just a little bit hungry, you lose control. There’s no way to put the brakes on. You can tell something drastic is needed.

Here’s where you need help with your dieting that goes beyond what your diet has to offer. The diet’s food plan can’t help you with those hard-to-solve personal dieting issues. A honest-to-goodness stick-to-it dieting helper, though, would be the right kind of help. It could help you to:

·      First: zero in on the problem and make it crystal clear

·      Next: come up with a solution to your problem

·      Then: devise a plan to put your new solution right into action

·      After that: see where your plan could get hung up

·      And last: fine-tune your plan to make doubly sure it works.

A dieting helper like this would make dieting a lot easier. It would give dieters the same kind of help on the psychological side of dieting that the food plan gives them on the dietary side.   

Psychologist, Kenneth Schwarz Ph.D. of MariasLastDiet.com, recently developed just such a “stick-to-your diet” helper. This new “stick-to-your diet” helper is called Diet Tuffy. It does not replace your diet’s food plan. It is universal and can partner with any diet plan. It is on the internet at www.diettuffy.com for women dieters to use.

Diet Tuffy helps a woman solve the problems that have been preventing diet adherence. The Diet Tuffy system guides women dieters through all the essential parts of solving a problem. It has been developed and designed as a help-yourself, internet game—easy to access—that can be used over and over again to solve personal problems that threaten successful dieting. 

So wherever you are in the dieting process—thinking about it, trying to get started, having trouble staying the course—take a look at this new dieter’s helper, Diet Tuffy, and get help with your personal dieting problem(s). Make the work of dieting a lot easier for yourself.