Maria's Last Diet

Here’s a diet booster.

Do two things each day that you think will help you stay on your diet. They could be anything – from planning a snack, to visualization of your goal, to speaking your mind, to taking a rest when you need it. Be creative.

These will be your own personal two-a-day diet helpers, what you need even if no else needs them. And you can try things out. If one day something you try doesn’t help, you can try something else the next day.

Make this part of your weight loss plan. Say to yourself: I will do two things each and every day that will help me with my diet. It really brings results.

Dear Lisa

I know you mean well. We've been friends for a long time, and I would hate for anything to destroy our friendship. But I'm actually afraid we are destroying it.

I know we go on diets together, thinking we'll help each other. But lately I've been wondering if you really do want to lose weight?

I guess it's pretty clear that we haven't been able to do it. Then, when we blow another diet, we console one another. I know, for me, I don't have to feel so bad because I'm not alone in failing.

I'm getting serious about it. I need to know if you are. I mean, I'm really serious.

This time I may have to do it alone. I haven't had the courage to face you and say all of this, so I'm hoping you read it here.

Your friend always

Kim

Elaine wanted to lose 45 lbs. She knew how good she felt, how good she looked at 125. But here she was at 170, feeling pretty awful.

So she decided to go on a diet. She would start on Monday, and she would be perfect. She planned out when she would shop for her food, even what her exact meal times would be.

She also decided to exercise. She would join the local gym on Monday also, sign up for one year, and be faithful to it this time. She was all resolve.

Within 3 weeks Elaine had missed most days at the gym, and she had been slipping on her diet each day, and it was getting worse.

It had all sounded so good.

The only way to achieve permanent weight loss is from the inside out.

What does that mean? Well, you can’t only go on a diet. Certainly, if you’re still trying to lose the weight, this is one thing you know.

You need to dig deeper, gain self understanding. You need to investigate and find out what you do that gets in your way each time, causing you to fail on a diet, or gain it all back.

Then you need to find ways to deal with these exact things. This is the inside part. It will make your diet work. Deal with the inside, and it will show on the outside.

Some say you don’t need to lose weight. No need to be thin, like a model. In fact, it’s a wrong ideal.

True, of course. You’re the only one who can say whether you should lose weight or not. You’re the only one to know if your eating and weight lessen your joy and comfort in life.

It’s not what you weigh, what size you are. It’s how you feel. It’s how you really feel. It’s how your eating and your weight affect the quality of your daily life.

So let’s say you have considered all of this, and you still don’t know the answer. Well, as the Wizard said to Dorothy and friends, you’ve had the answer inside you all along. Make that inner connection.

Dear Maria…I just read an incredibly frank book about a woman’s shattered and excruciatingly painful fat life. It’s called Fat Girl. I don’t know if I can recommend it to anyone – it’s gritty and slightly terrifying. I must say, I haven’t stayed up until 3 a.m. reading a book in years. I don’t think I’ve ever been that honest about anything.

Here’s what you can do about a habit like overeating or eating junk food whenever you’re stressed.

First and foremost: Recognize that you are doing it. This sounds so simple, but it is key. Bad habits stay in place and get reinforced because we do the same things over and over and over, without thinking about them. That’s exactly what gives a habit like overeating its power.

So…notice what you are doing, when you tend to do it, what it does for you, how you can think of alternatives.

Thinking is the bad habit buster.

Think of it like this – you only have so much self control. Don’t we all know it!

A study on self control and drinking reported in Psychology of Addictive Behavior 2005 showed that people who exert too much self-control on non-drinking matters have little left over to control their drinking.

How does this relate to self-control and weight loss? It’s much the same. It suggests that when you diet, you should plan your use of self-control. Don’t squander it. Don’t expend too much of it elsewhere. If you want to have enough energy and stamina to keep to your weight loss plan – with all that it entails – you need to save enough self-control strength to do it.

Some say diets don’t work.

Here are their reasons:

• You have to deprive yourself
• Diets aren’t healthy
• Dieting causes temporary slimness
• Yoyo dieting can lead to obesity
• Diets make you obsessed with food
• The diet industry is just out to get your money
• Dieting creates emotional distress

In some cases, these things are true, but certainly not in all cases.

And―many women are not willing to give up dieting altogether. Many feel guided and supported by the structure a food plan gives. They count on it.

In fact, a diet can be healthy and helpful. Choose a good diet, one that is nutritionally sound, and your health won’t suffer, and you’re not likely to feel deprived. As for emotional distress, often women suffer from this because they are overweight, uncomfortable, and driven to food without being able to control it.

If you decide to diet, choose the diet plan wisely and carefully. Check with your physician about what would fit in best with your individual health needs. Then go to work on understanding whether you have an emotional attachment to food, and what habits you have that keep you overweight.

Wishful thinking doesn’t work.

Willpower doesn’t work.

What then can possibly work?

What about your skills as a dieter? Diet skills can be learned, practiced, honed, polished, perfected.

You see, wishes don’t imply action. They tend to stay just wishes. Willpower comes and goes for everyone. When it vanishes, it leaves you stranded.

So, sharpen up your diet skills.

Here are some you can work on:

• managing temptations
• handling slips
• building a feeling that you can do it
• creating new patterns of behavior
• seeking out helping relationships
• devising ways to stay committed

These kinds of skills are much more stable than wishes or willpower. Once practiced and put into place, they will be a support structure for you when you’re on your diet.