Maria's Last Diet

What's your weight loss goal? Is it to be a size 4?

Here are some better, more life-enhancing weight loss goals:

1. to feel better
2. to be healthier
3. to raise my self-esteem
4. to feel in control of my life
5. to have deeper self-understanding
6. to realize all of my potential

Build your weight loss plan with these goals in mind and they will prove to be much more powerful than a dress size.

Dear Maria...

A lot of people who advocate life-style changes or habit changes for weight loss are against diets. Why are you pro-diets?

A diet can provide a woman with guidlines. Many women with weight problems are out of touch with eating well and find that a diet provides something to lean on and count on.

A diet is a set of instructions, suggestions, limitations, that can furnish a handy roadmap when you are starting on a weight loss journey.

That being said, you must always remember that a diet is only part of the solution. The non-food issues are every bit as important. No diet will work for you unless you address this side of things as well.

Here's a good exercise.

Write your own weight story. Include anything you remember, anything that comes up as you think about how your eating and weight problem got established and maintained.

Here's the twist. Write a touching story. Try to use a sense of real empathy as you tell your tale. Try to move the reader. Try to elicit compassion from the reader. Try as best you can to get the reader to understand.

Then read the story yourself.

Madrid announced recently that it would begin setting guidelines when it comes to extremely thin runway models. Italy soon followed, saying it would set limits on thinness for its models as well.

We all know the pressures in the U.S. about women being thin enough. Yet, there are obesity and overweight statistics that can't be ignored. These two competing forces go to work on us, leaving us confused, at a loss to know what to do, how thin we should be, how fat we should be, how we should eat.

Maybe the actions taken by Italy and Madrid will help and will spill over to the U.S. We do look to those ultra-thin models, it's unavoidable. We see them everywhere, and it gets stamped into our brains. We can't help thinking that's what we should look like, and it can leave us in despair, hopeless, eating more than ever.

Do you underestimate how many calories you consume?

If you're like the experts, you do.

The Wall Street Journal reported that a New York University study involving 203 dieticians found that even with their expertise, the dieticians underestimated calories.

The dieticians were asked to estimate the calorie content in 5 restaurant meals, and they underestimated by an average of 37 percent. As an example, the dieticians estimated that a tunafish sandwich had 375 calories, when it actually had 720 calories.

One extremely effective way to avoid underestimating and then having a load of calories when you're out to dinner is to watch portion size. Restaurant portions are notoriously large.

We've all had lapses (aka cheats, slips, falling off) during a diet. A lapse can be seen as a failure, a real crisis. It can also be seen as an opportunity.

Researchers in the field of relapse prevention have found that the most dangerous period is the time directly following the lapse. Here are six things recommended by experts that you can do right after a lapse.

1. Stop, look, & listen  Pay attention to what's happening. The lapse is a warning sign. Take yourself away to a quiet spot so you can get yourself together.
2. Stay calm  You'll be upset at first, and that's okay. But remember, this is just a slip, not a total relapse.
3. Strengthen motivation  Instead of giving up, think back over why you want to lose weight. Remember your goal and what it will bring to your life. Consider the strides you've already made.
4. See what led up to the lapse  Carefully consider the situation surrounding the cheat. That will tell you about what in your life you need to attend to.
5. Make a plan of immediate action  Get rid of any food tempting you at the moment. Get yourself away from the kitchen or the restaurant, or if possible, wherever the slip occurred. See if you can do something for yourself at this juncture that will be an alternative to eating.
6. Ask for help - from friends, family etc. You'd be surprised how much people who care about you can do (encouragement, suggestions, support).

Reference: Relapse Prevention. edited by G. Alan Marlatt & Judith R. Gordon. NY: Guilford, 1985.