Maria's Last Diet:

I meant to say this in the therapy session today, but I couldn't.

It was much too private and it flew right out of my head. I'll try to say it now to myself at least. I realized just the other day...I don't remember what I was doing when it came to me...that I have begun to love sex again. I'm so alive. I don't think I've been this way ever, not even when I was a teenager or in my twenties.

Sexual feelings come over me at all times of the day now. It even happened right in therapy. I found myself fantasizing about my therapist. OK, I know this is supposed to happen, but it never happened to me before. I felt pretty smarmy, not entitled. I got over it. I think.

OK, so the sex is there, enticing me to do something about it 24/7. I'm ashamed to admit I've done things about it with myself and with Terrence. I've thought about every good looking man who has past me on the street. I want to feel as sexual as I'm feeling but I can't let myself. I'm too scared. What if I act on all that I feel?

But this is only one part of what I want to say. The other, believe it or not, has to do with food...and with me eating out of control all these years. That's what I realized the other day too, that food was my sex and my real sexual feelings were nowhere to be found.

It was like my "on" button was turned off. More later...

Posted by Maria's Last Diet on Tuesday, July 31, 2007 in Changing/Learning | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Did You Know That Fat Spreads

by Maria's Last Diet

The July 26, 2007 issue of The New England Journal of Medicine reported a study showing that obesity is spread by social networks.

What this means is that if you have a friend who becomes obese, your chances of becoming obese can increase by as much as 171%. For same gender siblings, there’s a 55% increased chance and for spouses there’s a 37% increased chance.

So what does this mean for all of us who hang out with fat friends? What does it mean if you have a sibling or spouse who tips the scales way above the chimney tops? Do we have to leave our loved ones in order not to keep the U.S. weight trend on the rise?

Social influence is a powerful fact of our lives. We can’t escape it. It’s there to be reckoned with.

Actually, though, social influence where weight is concerned cuts both ways. There is research showing that people lose weight better with a partner, especially when their partner loses weight too.

Maybe you don’t want to stand apart from the crowd when your crowd is made up of good friends, siblings, a spouse, etc. How about if you switch around this idea of social influence and weight? How about if you wield some of your own influence on others by losing weight yourself? In theory thinness should spread the same way that fat does.

Wanna test this theory out? Go ahead and lose the weight and see if that affects people around you. Let us know the result of your research.

Posted by Maria's Last Diet on Monday, July 30, 2007 in Influence | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Weight Control: It's Not All It's Cracked Up to Be

by Maria's Last Diet

What if my weight problem just vanished? What if suddenly all my eating was under control, and I was a size 6? Oh my God, that's a frightening thought.

I mean, who would I be? What would I do - what would I scheme about? What would I blame things on?

I can't imagine a "me" without this constant in my life. It's unfathomable.

Now, this tells me something. I mean, if I can't even imagine not having this overeating and weight problem, aren't I totally stuck to it? I must be. If just the thought of not being overweight sends me reeling, will I think there is something to that? And it's a big something.

I am a woman who is overweight, and I have been since I was 20 years old. I am now 43. I'm very worried that my weight is me, and I am my weight.

This is scary stuff.

- Emily

Posted by Maria's Last Diet on Sunday, July 29, 2007 in Changing/Learning | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Free Dieting Support When You Need it Most

by Maria's Last Diet

Here's an invitation for you:

Bring us your failed diet - Tell us all about it.

Let's see what went wrong so we can help you fix it for your next diet.

Posted by Maria's Last Diet on Tuesday, July 24, 2007 in Failure | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Weight Loss Tip: You Reap What You Know

by Maria's Last Diet

The thing I hate most when I diet is __________

The last time I tried to lose weight I __________

The person most supportive of me losing the weight is __________

The person least supportive of me losing the weight is __________

My mother's attitude toward her weight made me __________

I want to lose the weight mostly because _________

Sometimes I'm afraid to lose the weight because ________

Posted by Maria's Last Diet on Sunday, July 22, 2007 in Tips | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

A Weight Loss Plan for Your Thoughts and Feelings

by Maria's Last Diet

Weight loss has more to do with what you think than with what you eat.

Your ability to diet and lose weight can be increased by looking closely at all aspects of your thoughts and feelings that have an effect on you losing weight.

By not avoiding even the tiniest details of these thoughts and feelings, by bringing them closer, and looking into them despite their difficult nature, you are increasing your capacity to tolerate what you find.

The benefit, of course, when you know your thoughts and feelings more fully, is that you can deal with them and not overeat to do it.

To be able to review your thoughts and feelings with this kind of acceptance gives you not only the means for getting to your weight loss goal, it is also an important goal in its own right.

Posted by Maria's Last Diet on Thursday, July 19, 2007 in Emotions and Eating | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Diet tip: Getting to the Bottom of It

by Maria's Last Diet

Dear Maria...

I'm on my umpty-umpth diet and I still get the same reactions each time. I get anxious, shaky actually, and of course depressed too. That's when I quit, when I start getting emotional. Do you have any good ideas?

Why don't you ask yourself lots of questions about your dieting experiences. That should help you understand your reactions better. Ask yourself questions that help you zero in on what's happening with you. You can tailor the questions so that you can rule things in and rule things out. You can then generate hypotheses like, "If this, then..."

For example:

Could you be experiencing the loss of something while you're on a diet that's more than just the food?
Could you be getting "cold feet" about meeting the challenges involved?
Could it be you've taken a step that's too hard for you? You might think oh no, after all, it's only a diet. But a diet might very well be too demanding, out of your reach. You might have to go back and take some pre-diet, preparatory steps.
Could you have set your expectations much too high? Do you expect yourself to change the way you eat all of a sudden?

Start thinking like this, like a "hypothesis generator", and you will come up with many different possibilities. Then hone your questions so you can pin down just which hypothesis best fits you.

If you do all of this, you'll be having a really productive heart to heart with yourself

Posted by Maria's Last Diet on Tuesday, July 17, 2007 in Eating/Weight/Diet Problems | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Weight Loss Goals: It's How You Think About Them

by Maria's Last Diet

You probably think about your weight-loss goals in different ways.

For example, you might have established one of your weight-loss goals as:

"Don't give in to being tempted."

Lots of people have this as a weight-loss goal. But there's a potential drawback to thinking like this. You may be setting yourself up to feel like a failure. If you don't meet your goal and you do give in to temptation, you are violating an all-or-none expectation, one that you've set up yourself. By definition then, you are a failure.

Let's see what happens if you think of your weight-loss goal as:

"I won't give in tobeing tempted at the restaurant tonight."

When you set a circumscribed goal like this, you are much more likely to achieve it. It's smaller. It's specific. It's manageable. You don't have to think of it as a great big all-or-none proposition. You can picture yourself reaching for this goal and achieving it.

Posted by Maria's Last Diet on Monday, July 16, 2007 in Temptation | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Diet and Relationship Advisory

by Maria's Last Diet

I’d like to have a chef’s salad, please.

What kind of dressing would you like?

Oil and vinegar. And I’d like a Perrier with a twist of lemon.

And for you, m’am?

I’ll have a turkey club on rye toast and an ice coffee.

We’re being so good, aren’t we?

Yes, we are. Are you having any trouble staying on your diet?

No, not really, yet. Even with all the pressure I’m under—work, the kids, Dave. I’m hanging in there.

What’s happening with you and Dave?

Nothing really. It’s too bad. Too much too fix, I guess, and no way to do it. We’ve had a pretty good life together until now.

You call that a good life?

Yes, I do…relatively speaking. I can’t complain.

But hasn’t that been the problem all along? You did complain and Dave never did change.

True…true…and neither did I. I wished I could have changed so that I could have done something more, something better. Wouldn’t it be great if there could be something as decisive as a diet to go on when you’re having marital problems?

Are you crazy? This is probably the fifteenth diet that we’ve gone on since I’ve known you. There has to be a better way.

Posted by Maria's Last Diet on Sunday, July 15, 2007 in Eating/Weight/Diet Problems | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Weight Loss Tip: Realize the Time and Energy It Takes

by Maria's Last Diet

It's important to realize the time and effort it takes to make changes to yourself. Such realization will help you not rush, not judge too quickly, and most importantly, it will prevent you from spoiling your hope by giving up.

If you appreciate the magnitude of the task at hand and keep it well in mind, you can then put in the time and effort you need.

Posted by Maria's Last Diet on Saturday, July 14, 2007 in Changing/Learning | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Maria's Last Diet

Search

White Paper

Categories

About

Email Us

Links

Become a Fan

A Weight Loss Success Story is Surprising Sometimes

Did You Know That Fat Spreads

Weight Control: It's Not All It's Cracked Up to Be

Free Dieting Support When You Need it Most

Weight Loss Tip: You Reap What You Know

A Weight Loss Plan for Your Thoughts and Feelings

Diet tip: Getting to the Bottom of It

Weight Loss Goals: It's How You Think About Them

Diet and Relationship Advisory

Weight Loss Tip: Realize the Time and Energy It Takes

Books

Symmetry Press