When the body is heavy, cumbersome, awkward, and slow going, the mind and heart have to spend precious energy taking care of it. In order to keep its size and shape, you need to constantly perfect your devotion to food, you need to practice it, reinforce it, get better and better at it, until one day you become an expert.
Those secret little subterfuges that send you back to food, they all have to be maintained so as to keep blocking your way to freedom. Each trip to food gets slipped into life more easily. The buildup of tiny acts over time creates a habit with so much character you just end up thinking this is you.