I’m a liar and a cheat.
I finally got the guts to tell myself this. I said I was going to finally lose the weight this time, and I lied, because I didn’t do it once again. I cheated my way through yet another weight-loss diet. I am a liar and a cheat. And I don’t like being either.
My idea of an upstanding person is one who tells the truth, and one who follows the rules. Those are the people in this world I admire, not the people who try and slip by under the radar, not the people who say one thing and do another. I want to be the kind of woman I can admire. So far, in terms of my bad eating habits and weight control problem, I have been anything but.
So this time, I’m starting with the truth. I say to myself: I want to lose the weight more than anything, but I’m not sure I can do it. Hearing this thought isn’t so awful. Not feeling sure about myself is not nearly as bad as it would be to break another promise to myself. And more than that, acknowledging my doubts is leading me to a new path. I am not so sure I can do it, especially after failing many times, so why not just take it from there? I can say to myself: Now, what will give me more confidence going in? Are there things I can do to help myself feel more prepared and more confident? Are there things I can do to minimize the chances for cheating?
This is opening up a whole new way of thinking for me. It is very different from the way I’ve approached the weight-loss challenge before. It is honest, and it is not a cheater’s way. It is far from saying I’ll do it, and then not doing it. It gives me a way to raise myself in my own eyes.
No more lies, no more cheating on myself.