Maria's Last Diet:

If only I…
I could’ve…
I should’ve…

How often have you said this when you ran up against some diet problem, some weight-loss difficulty?

And how often did you, as a result of saying this, or even thinking this to yourself, come up with a good prescription for what would actually help you next time to reach a better outcome or avoid an outcome that you didn’t want?

It should have. It could have. It would have. Only…

Thinking like this, saying this to yourself, doesn’t always work. It doesn’t work if you overestimate your competence and you’re simply explaining away your failure. If you are guilty of doing this, you might not take the opportunity to improve, to really do it better next time. You might also not attend to what you should be attending to in order to fix the problem and make your shoulda, coulda, woulda come true.

So watch out. Express your regrets, but make sure what you say to yourself about what might have been is an accurate prescription for the behavior and the mental resolve you will need the next time around.

Posted by Maria's Last Diet on Tuesday, July 31, 2012 in Monitoring/Feedback | Permalink | TrackBack (0)

A Weight-Loss Goal is a Lofty Thing. Too Lofty?

by Maria's Last Diet

Greta was seated with all the other dinner guests. They had just finished cocktails and hors d”oeuvres and drinks, and Greta was proud of herself for not taking any—no drinks, none of those little oh so tempting, and bite-size, something-or-others served so elegantly. Only sparkling water. She kept her weight-loss goal fixed right in the front of her mind. Where it should be kept, she thought.

What Greta didn’t realize was the way the cocktail treats were served made it easier to use her long-term goal to stop herself from being tempted. The waiters and waitresses came around with exquisite silver trays, balancing them perfectly. Each tray—and here’s the key—held only one kind of hors d’oeuvre. Seasoned smoked salmon, of course, with dill on a cracked wheat cracker. Chicken puffs. Two, or maybe it was three, different kinds of canapés. Orange-arugula crab salad bites served in little phyllo cups. (Greta had to ask the name of that one.)

Last week, though, when Greta went out to eat with a couple of her friends, she blew it. They all went to this new restaurant. That’s what they liked to do—a new and different restaurant each time. Greta wanted to stay true to her goal to lose weight and keep it off—permanently. She had been doing just fine, except this restaurant posed a challenge that she wasn’t ready for. She had her lofty goal right in the front of her mind again. But this time it didn’t work. She ate the very fattening food she was trying to avoid.

Here’s what happened. The menu had lots to choose from. Lots of different kinds of dishes, some obviously more fattening than others. But unlike the hors d’oeuvres that Greta would be served at the dinner party next week, these foods weren’t presented to her one at a time on exquisite, but separate, silver trays. The fattening food and the more diet-like foods were listed together in no particular order, and that proved to be too much for her lofty goal to handle.

What went wrong was that the different kinds of food were presented together like they belonged together. Thus indulgence now (aka being tempted) was right alongside pursue your goal, giving be tempted now more strength. To break this bond, Greta would have had to drop her lofty goal and get down to the finer points of each of the meal choices. Think more carefully about the ingredients of each, and so forth.

So take heed. Your weight-loss goal is not made of steel. It doesn’t serve you well in all situations. Sometimes you just have to move your goal to the back of your mind, get down and dirty and in those trenches; see what’s up close.

Posted by Maria's Last Diet on Monday, July 30, 2012 | Permalink | TrackBack (0)

Women and Their Weight: Who’s In Control Here?

by Maria's Last Diet

Please respond to the following statements by indicating how well each statement describes your beliefs.

Give each statement a number from 1 (not at all descriptive of my beliefs) to 6 (very descriptive of my beliefs).

      1            2        3          4           5             6
Not at all                                         Very
descriptive of                                         descriptive of
my beliefs                                                my beliefs

1. By restricting what one eats, one can lose weight.
2. When people gain weight it is because of something they have done or not done.
3. A thin body is largely a result of genetics.
4. No matter how much effort one puts into dieting, one's weight tends to stay
about the same.
5. One's weight is, to a great extent, controlled by fate.
6. There is so much fattening food around that losing weight is almost impossible.
7. Most people can only diet successfully when other people push them to do it.
8. Having a slim and fit body has very little to do with luck.
9. People who are overweight lack the willpower necessary to control
their weight.
10. Each of us is directly responsible for our weight.
11. Losing weight is simply a matter of wanting to do it and applying yourself.
12. People who are more than a couple of pounds overweight need professional help
to lose weight.
13. By increasing the amount one exercises, one can lose weight.
14. Most people are at their present weight because that is the weight level that is
natural for them.
15. Unsuccessful dieting is due to lack of effort.
16. In order to lose weight people must get a lot of encouragement from others.

Note: 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 12, 14, 16 are scored in the reverse direction, where 1 is (very descriptive of my beliefs) and 6 is (not at all descriptive of my beliefs)

What was your total score?

Higher scores represent your belief that it is your behavior or an inherent part of you that determines your weight.

Lower scores represent your belief that your weight is due to factors outside your control.

In a sample of college-age women of normal weight the average scale score range was approximately 59 to 76.

from    Stotland, S., & Zuroff, D. C. (1990). A new measure of weight locus of control: The Dieting Beliefs Scale. Journal of Personality Assessment, 54, 191−203.

Posted by Maria's Last Diet on Sunday, July 29, 2012 in Self-Control/Lack of Control | Permalink | TrackBack (0)

Losing Unwanted Weight Made Easier by the Way You Think About It

by Maria's Last Diet

Is losing a lot of weight a skill? You might not think it is. Losing weight isn’t portrayed that way. You just do it—that’s the way it’s been promoted. You have a diet. You go on it. You exercise. The weight comes off. Where’s the skill in that?

Thinking of losing a lot of weight as a skill, or a set of skills makes all the difference in the world. Skills imply learning and developing, and everyone knows that learning and developing skill take time. So patience and forbearance are involved. You expect that of yourself. Frustration and failure are better tolerated, because you know you are just beginning to get the skill under your belt. Expectations of accomplishing your goal are put off on purpose because you know you are learning. You don’t rush yourself into early expectation of “getting there”. You know you have to develop proficiency, and so you lengthen out your expectation of reaching your goal, and you connect “getting there” with all you have to do to become proficient enough.

Thinking about losing a lot of weight as a set of skills instead of “you go and do it” is using psychology to lose weight. How you think about it determines how you go about doing it. And how you go about doing it, since you’re building skils, makes your skill building into a successful weight-loss journey.

Posted by Maria's Last Diet on Friday, July 27, 2012 in Thinking/Wishful Thinking | Permalink | TrackBack (0)

The Key to Weight Loss is Believing. The Key to Believing is Mental Simulation.

by Maria's Last Diet

Believing that it will actually happen—that you will start dieting, stay on your diet, lose a lot of weight, and then maintain permanent weight loss—may be what gets you there.

Try it. Try believing by picturing yourself there. Picture the benefits. Picture the new, thinner woman you’ll be.

This kind of visualizing can get you ready, readier than you’ve ever been. There’s lots to visualize. You can mentally simulate your goal; you can mentally simulate the ways you’ll get to your goal.

Besides helping you believe more, mentally simulating and rehearsing the ways you’ll get there will produce plans. Imagining how, when, and what will occur provides lots of information about what lies ahead. You’ll not only get factual information but emotional information as well. You’ll learn how taking that weight-loss step will feel emotionally, and you won’t have to wait and be taken by surprise. As you mentally simulate and produce all this information about where you are headed and how you will get there, you can’t help but problem solve and plan.

Believing that the outcome will be just what you’d like it to be is too much of a pie-in-the-sky belief. By itself, it won’t get you to your goal of permanent weight loss. There's not enough work involved. It's too wishful. But couple this outcome belief with belief in the weight-loss steps and weight-loss strategies that you’ve imagined taking and worked over through rehearsal, visualization, and mental simulation, and you’ve got something going for yourself.

Posted by Maria's Last Diet on Thursday, July 26, 2012 in Priming | Permalink | TrackBack (0)

Women’s Weight Loss—Watch Out for Hidden Goals

by Maria's Last Diet

Thinking well of yourself is an up and down process if you are a woman trying to lose your unwanted weight. There is something truly unflattering about all that you go through just to shed those extra pounds. No matter what, you want to think well of yourself.

To continue to think well of yourself is one of the hidden goals in the weight-loss process. To accomplish this mighty feat, you have to ward off the negative implications of some of your behavior, your missteps, your outright mistakes, your foolishness, your dishonesty, your excuses. This is all in the service of preserving your good sense of self-esteem, which, by the way, is so necessary for successful weight loss.

Let’s look for a moment at some of the ways you might ward off threats to your self-esteem. You could, for instance, distort information and feedback; not let yourself accurately process what you observe. You could resort to alternative ways of interpreting what you just did. You might hold on to cherished beliefs despite contradictory findings. You may just not notice, or you may selectively attend to the good but not to the bad. You could make something a lot smaller than it really is, minimize it in your mind, not spend any time dwelling on it or thinking about it; get away from it as soon as you can.

There are lots of ways to escape from and distance yourself from whatever it is that could make you not think well of yourself. Such defensive tactics are pretty natural when it comes to protecting your self-worth. Trying to lose weight and keep it off, if you’re doing it right, puts you in a vulnerable position, and puts your self-worth in jeopardy. It’s a situation that calls for ramping up all your defensive tactics. The same defenses that you use to protect your level of self-esteem are what also disrupt your clear-headed thinking and vital action taking.

The value of defending your self-esteem so you can use it to do what it takes to lose weight ironically must be weighed against the cost of defending your self-esteem to the point where your weight-loss effort suffers.

Posted by Maria's Last Diet on Wednesday, July 25, 2012 in Confidence/Self-Esteem | Permalink | TrackBack (0)

It’s About the Process of Losing Weight—Take This Survey…Please

by Maria's Last Diet

Surveys are all the rage. Click almost anywhere on the net, and you’re asked if you want to take a survey. Pick up the phone to order something, and there it is—“stay on the line for a brief two-question survey.” Deal with any company, online or off, and they all want to know how they’re doing, and how they just did.; whether they made your day with better than excellent service.

For once, here’s a survey to see how you are doing not how we are doing.

How would you answer the following?

1. When I have eaten my quota of calories, I am usually good about not eating any more.
     (true – false)

2. I have a pretty good idea of the number of calories in common food. (true – false)

3. While on a diet, if I eat food that is not allowed, I consciously eat less for a period of
     time to make up for it. (true – false)

4. A diet would be too boring a way for me to lose weight. (true – false)

5. I count calories as a conscious means of controlling my weight. (true – false)

6. I consciously hold back at meals in order not to gain weight. (true – false)

7. I avoid some foods on principle even though I like them. (true – false)

8. If I eat a little bit more on one day, I make up for it the next day. (true – false)

9. How often are you dieting in a conscious effort to control your weight?
    (rarely – sometimes – usually – always)

10. I pay a great deal of attention to changes in my figure. (true – false)

11. Quick success is most important for me during a diet. (true – false)

12. If I eat a little bit more during one meal, I make up for it at the next meal.
      (true – false)

13. How likely are you to shop for low calorie foods?
      (unlikely – slightly unlikely – moderately likely – very likely)

14. Do feelings of guilt about overeating help you to control your food intake?
      (never – rarely – often – always)

15. Do you deliberately restrict your intake during meals even though you would like to
      eat more? (always – often – rarely – never)

16. Would a weight fluctuation of 5 lb affect the way you live your life?
      (not at all – slightly – moderately – very much)

17. How frequently do you avoid “stocking up” on tempting foods?
     (almost never – seldom – usually – almost always)

18. Sometimes I skip meals to avoid gaining weight. (true – false)

19. How likely are you to consciously eat less than you want?
      (unlikely – slightly unlikely – moderately likely – very likely)

20. I try to stick to a plan when I lose weight. (true – false)

21. Without a diet plan I wouldn’t know how to control my weight. (true – false)

22. I eat diet foods, even if they do not taste very good. (true – false)

23. I pay attention to my figure, but I still enjoy a variety of foods. (true – false)

24. How conscious are you of what you are eating?
      (not at all – slightly – moderately – extremely)

25. I prefer light foods that are not fattening. (true – false)

26. I alternate between times when I diet strictly and times when I don’t pay much
      attention to what and how much I eat. (true – false)

27. I deliberately take small helpings as a means of weight control. (true – false)

28. I would rather skip a meal than stop eating in the middle of one. (true – false)

KEY

Rigid Control
2. I have a pretty good idea of the number of calories in common food. (true – false)
4. A diet would be too boring a way for me to lose weight. (true – false)
5. I count calories as a conscious means of controlling my weight. (true – false)
7. I avoid some foods on principle even though I like them. (true – false)
9. How often are you dieting in a conscious effort to control your weight?
    (rarely – sometimes – usually – always)
11. Quick success is most important for me during a diet. (true – false)
13. How likely are you to shop for low calorie foods?
      (unlikely – slightly unlikely – moderately likely – very likely)
14. Do feelings of guilt about overeating help you to control your food intake?
      (never – rarely – often – always)
16. Would a weight fluctuation of 5 lb affect the way you live your life?
      (not at all – slightly – moderately – very much)
17. How frequently do you avoid “stocking up” on tempting foods?
      (almost never – seldom – usually – almost always)
18. Sometimes I skip meals to avoid gaining weight. (true – false)
20. I try to stick to a plan when I lose weight. (true – false)
21. Without a diet plan I wouldn’t know how to control my weight. (true – false)
22. I eat diet foods, even if they do not taste very good. (true – false)
26. I alternate between times when I diet strictly and times when I don’t pay much
      attention to what and how much I eat. (true – false)
28. I would rather skip a meal than stop eating in the middle of one. (true – false)

Flexible Control
1. When I have eaten my quota of calories, I am usually good about not eating any more.
     (true – false)
3. While on a diet, if I eat food that is not allowed, I consciously eat less for a period of
     time to make up for it. (true – false)
6. I consciously hold back at meals in order not to gain weight. (true – false)
8. If I eat a little bit more on one day, I make up for it the next day. (true – false)
10. I pay a great deal of attention to changes in my figure. (true – false)
12. If I eat a little bit more during one meal, I make up for it at the next meal.
     (true – false)
15. Do you deliberately restrict your intake during meals even though you would like to
      eat more? (always – often – rarely – never)
19. How likely are you to consciously eat less than you want?
      (unlikely – slightly unlikely – moderately likely – very likely)
23. I pay attention to my figure, but I still enjoy a variety of foods. (true – false)
24. How conscious are you of what you are eating?
25. I prefer light foods that are not fattening. (true – false)
      (not at all – slightly – moderately – extremely)
27. I deliberately take small helpings as a means of weight control. (true – false)

from   Westenhoefer, J., Stunkard, A. J., & Pudel, V. (1999). Validation of the flexible and rigid control dimensions of dietary restraint. International Journal of Eating Disorders, 26, 53–64.

What did you find out about yourself? What’s your tendency? Do you use more rigid or more flexible control with your weight-loss process, and does it make a difference?

Posted by Maria's Last Diet on Tuesday, July 24, 2012 in Eating/Weight/Diet Problems | Permalink | TrackBack (1)

There Goes My Dieting Plan. I Gave in to My Craving.

by Maria's Last Diet

How often do you have an urgent desire, longing, or yearning for a particular food? You just have to have it. The feelings and thoughts are intense. It’s not that you are simply hungry. You’ve got to have what you want. It’s fattening. It’s off your diet. You’ll hate yourself later. You know that, but knowing it doesn’t stop you. You go ahead and eat what you craved. You eat a lot of it, more than you should. You end up not feeling rewarded. It doesn’t turn out to be a positive experience. You admonish yourself. You feel guilty. You question your sincerity. A diet is a diet, and you should have stayed on it, you say to yourself. You vow not to do this ever again.

The very next time, though, you do it again. Same pattern. Same result. Craving. You being too rigid about your diet may cause it. Check it out and see. If this is so, making your dieting more flexible may help.

For more on cravings and urges, go to The Reading Room (left-hand column of this blog).

Posted by Maria's Last Diet on Monday, July 23, 2012 in Cravings/Urges | Permalink | TrackBack (0)

Your Eating Habits—You Can’t Win With Them, You Can’t Win Without Them

by Maria's Last Diet

Habits get in the way. Your conscious intentions don’t matter. You have little control over a well-learned habit. The decisions you make about what you eat and how much you eat are determined not by your intentions but by your habits. You may be informed, but you don’t make decisions based on information where there is a habit involved. Your eating pattern is under the control of a habitual mindset.

This is what stands in the way when you are trying to lose some weight.

Habits pave the way. Your conscious intentions don’t matter. You have little control over a well-learned habit. The decisions you make about what you eat and how much you eat are determined not by your intentions but by your habits. You may be informed, but you don’t make decisions based on information where there is a habit involved. Your eating pattern is under the control of a habitual mindset.

This is what paves the way for eating too many fattening foods, keeps you overeating and stuffing, doesn’t stop you from being an emotional eater or a binge eater, and makes sure you stay so overweight.

Posted by Maria's Last Diet on Sunday, July 22, 2012 in Habit | Permalink | TrackBack (0)

The Weight-Loss Process: It’s ‘New’ or Never

by Maria's Last Diet

When you set out to lose your unwanted weight, no matter how many times you’ve tried it before, you are doing something new for yourself. You are attempting to change old patterns—eating patterns, giving into yourself patterns, shaped by the culture around you patterns—lots of patterns.

What makes the new you so hard to bring about is that you, and not only you, but also people in general, try to understand new things by referring to what they already know. And what you know when it comes to losing excess weight is those old patterns: how to gain weight and remain an overweight person; how to eat out of control; how to soothe your psyche with fattening food; how to fool yourself into thinking you’re hungry when you’ve ramped up hunger a thousand-fold so that you no longer distinguish real hunger from this new hunger you founded.

People try to develop new ways by referring to what they already know. So how do you un-know? How do you go about dismantling all that “knowledge”, all those well-perfected moves you so effortlessly make when it comes to keeping those pounds right where they are? This is what’s behind all the trials and tribulations you will face when you set out to lose all that weight you’ve gotten used to carrying. You’ve got to find ways of un-knowing, of undoing what you’ve done, so you can move on to the ‘new’ and not the ‘never’.

Posted by Maria's Last Diet on Saturday, July 21, 2012 in Changing/Learning | Permalink | TrackBack (0)

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Women Dieting, Women Trying to Lose Weight, and the “Coulda”, “Woulda”, “Shoulda” Effect

A Weight-Loss Goal is a Lofty Thing. Too Lofty?

Women and Their Weight: Who’s In Control Here?

Losing Unwanted Weight Made Easier by the Way You Think About It

The Key to Weight Loss is Believing. The Key to Believing is Mental Simulation.

Women’s Weight Loss—Watch Out for Hidden Goals

It’s About the Process of Losing Weight—Take This Survey…Please

There Goes My Dieting Plan. I Gave in to My Craving.

Your Eating Habits—You Can’t Win With Them, You Can’t Win Without Them

The Weight-Loss Process: It’s ‘New’ or Never

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