Maria's Last Diet

by Maria's Last Diet

WHY PSYCHOLOGY?

What above all else will make it possible for you to lose weight? It’s “getting yourself to do it.” That’s what. “Getting yourself to do it” is a psychological course of action. 

As any woman will tell you, it is never just about food and eating. Food and eating are only a small part of the process. The woman who wants to shed her extra pounds must change certain patterns of behavior so she doesn’t have to fight against herself when she’s trying to reduce her weight.    

The familiar formula, Weight Loss = Diet + Exercise, needs to be modified to include psychology. After all, it is your psychology that will do the lion’s share of the work in losing weight. The new formula, Psychology + Diet + Exercise = Weight Loss, includes such matters as what it takes for you to adhere to a weight loss regimen and what it takes for you to make important personal changes that lead to weight loss.

Weight loss psychology is the nonfood plan for weight loss. The nonfood plan involves ways to deal with the all the thoughts, feelings, beliefs, attitudes, and automatic habits you developed that fight against you when you try to go on and stay on a diet or weight loss regimen. Just as the food plan or diet plan is knowing what to eat and how much to eat, the nonfood plan is about how to use psychology as your guide for making personal changes, adhering to your diet, reaching your weight loss goal, and staying there.  

WHY NOT DIET AND EXERCISE?

Diets alone don’t work. There has to be somebody who works the diet. That somebody is you. And for you to stick to your diet you need to use your psychology. Sticking to it is such a significant factor that weight loss research has found it doesn’t matter what diet you go on. You can probably lose weight on any one of the diets available on the market. What matters more than anything else is whether or not you adhere to the particular diet or weight loss method you choose.

Exercise, despite its proclaimed importance for weight loss, has been shown through solid research that it does not cause weight loss. The energy out through exercise, even if you were to stay true to a daily exercise routine, can in no way equal the energy you take in. If the average calorie burn is 200 to 300 Kcals an hour, all it takes is one doughnut to erase the effects of exercising. Exercise, however, is indeed good for your health, just not good for weight loss. Exercise is also an excellent motivator and in this sense it can help you want to lose weight.

by Maria's Last Diet

A woman in her forties was feeling quite anxious as of late. Her anxiety would be so great at times that she couldn’t go to work and she couldn’t stay at home by herself during the day. She felt safer and more secure when she went to her mother’s house. In fact, she said that her mother was more understanding and more compassionate than her husband. While you might not think there is anything striking about these circumstances and the woman’s take on them, listen to how this story progressed.

The woman consulted her physician who prescribed anti-anxiety medication and recommended she see a psychologist. After a month or so on medication and in psychotherapy, this woman’s anxiety decreased significantly. But she was still running to her mother’s house when she grew the least bit anxious or even when she anticipated she could become anxious. It was as if her mother and her mother’s house were the only security for this woman.

The therapist got the impression that this woman was a momma’s girl who would do anything for her mother and especially make herself responsible for her mother’s wellbeing, just like she saw her mother as critical to her wellbeing. The woman’s therapist also couldn’t help thinking that this woman hadn’t grown up. She extolled her mother’s virtues where compassion and understanding were concerned but condemned her husband for having little understanding and compassion. This left the woman no option but to seek solace and comfort from her mother. Her husband was essentially no good to her.

With continuing psychotherapy, momma’s girl began to talk about characteristics her mother had that she didn’t like. One of these characteristics was her mother’s anger, which her mother would unleash given only the slightest provocation. This meant that the daughter had to be ever so careful not to get her mother angry. There were other characteristics her mother had that disturbed the daughter as well. Her mother would cry and use her tears to manipulate the daughter and her siblings into doing what the mother wanted of them. The daughter revealed more and more of her mother’s undesirable ways that she, the daughter, didn’t like, didn’t respect, and that had a harmful impact on her.

At the same time as this woman psychotherapy patient was establishing a very different picture of her mother, she also began to paint her husband in a new light. Because she was speaking her mind in her own therapy, she began to speak her mind with her husband too. This went well for her, and she began to experience her husband as more and more understanding, supportive, and compassionate. The woman’s criticisms shifted from her husband could do no right by her to her mother was doing no right by her.

So, this forty-three year old woman was no longer a victim of acute anxiety episodes nor was she a momma’s girl. She was ‘growing up’ and she was able to value her husband over her mother. She was ‘standing up’ for herself and was no longer putting herself in the position of having to be such a pleaser.

While all of this change was going on, this more aware and more emotionally capable woman said nothing about her weight. She was a good one hundred fifty pounds overweight and it clearly showed. Not a word about her weight, though. Her therapy was just about over for her anxiety condition. She was making significant changes in her personality and the ways she thought about and dealt with other people, but no mention of her weight and a desire to do something about changing that as well.

It would be good right here to say, “stay tuned,” her weight will come next. Possibly, and possibly not. If she doesn’t bring up her weight as a problem, should her therapist do so? Do you think this woman’s extra 150 pounds has anything to do with her anxiety condition and the other psychological issues that prevented her from being more independent and secure in her own life?

So on a hopeful note for all women who need to lose weight, “stay tuned.”