Maria's Last Diet

by Maria's Last Diet

When you set a weight loss goal for yourself, your intention is to reach that goal. Just "intending to" is not enough. And simply setting a goal is also not enough.

One thing you need to do right up front in addition to stating your goal and having a sincere intention is have a plan The plan is what you will use to implement your intention so you can reach the goal you set. In your plan you will specify when, where, how, and what weight loss steps you will take to move from where you are now to your final destination. You will plan out your weight loss routine and all that involves before you even begin the process of taking any action steps toward your weight loss goal.

The plan goes like this. You consider in advance the different situations you will find yourself in as you pursue your goal of losing weight. You can think things like: if such and such happens, then I will do such and such. When you plan out this kind of an if/then format, you will know beforehand how to behave in these upcoming situations. Instead of having to stop and think and come to a decision on the spot, which is often hard to do in the moment, you will be already with your planned actions.

Planning ahead like this will mean fewer mistakes, fewer hardships, and much less effort on your part. Because you are prepared, you are more likely to behave in just the way the situation demands. The net result will be a more efficient and enjoyable weight loss process.

Try this
Trisha has just made an important goal for herself: "I am going to try not to turn my everyday frustrations into a snack attack at night."

But she hasn't made a plan yet. Using the when, where, and how concepts can you conceive of a good plan for her goal? (Hint: See if you can anticipate the "high risks" of different situations that Trisha may encounter and plan for ways to get Trisha ready to get successfully through these situations.)

     blog post from OCT 28 2009

by Maria's Last Diet

Sharing space with the goal to lose weight are the goals not to lose weight. There is under these circumstances goal interference or goal conflict. A good deal of the time the goal to lose weight is conscious. In other words, you are very much aware of the goal to lose weight. The goals not to lose weight, on the other hand, are often outside awareness, especially when the goal to lose weight is front and center and uppermost in your mind.

Your job in order to lose weight is to identify those goals that hinder your weight loss goal. In order to do this, you'll have to dig in to what you're not conscious of and bring these hidden, anti-weight loss goals to light.

by Maria's Last Diet

Where is my goal when I need it?

Tired from a hard day’s work. Kicking back watching TV. Dinner is done. The dishes are put away for the night. So are the kids. It’s just me. My husband is out of town.

Into the kitchen I go and scout around for something to snack on. Rationalization: to help me relax. There’s lots to choose from. Good stuff and bad stuff. Of course I’m tempted by the bad stuff. I give in to my temptation, and out the window goes my diet.

Where is my weight loss goal when I need it? Why couldn’t I pull out my goal and wave it in front of my eyes to remind myself, to stop myself, to block myself from giving in to temptation?

I’ve done it before; not be tempted, that is. I had a lot of practice resisting the kind of temptation I gave into tonight. All that practice strengthened my resolve, and if I wanted a snack, I selected more of a diet food snack, no problem. But tonight. What was so different about tonight?

(After a little thinking) I’m frustrated and angry, feeling lonely and abandoned. Yes, I’m happy the kids are tucked up for the night. One less responsibility. I’m angry and frustrated because it’s all on me. My husband can go tra-la-la-ing off while I’m stuck being breadwinner number two, cook, cleaner, dishwasher, perfect mom, counselor to two kids, chauffeur, and who knows what else.

Where is my goal when I need it? Buried under the need to cut loose from my life.

by Maria's Last Diet

“The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” If you’re in the throes of trying to lose weight, you know just how true this proverb is.

Why is it that what you intend is not always what you do? Stay on your diet. Eat less. Eat differently. Exercise more. Handle your feelings directly rather than eating over them. Put yourself first when you’re trying to lose weight.

First off, are your intentions realistic? In other words, can you possibly do what you intend? What makes an intention more realistic is the intention is well within your grasp. Then too, you need to support your intention with plans and preparation, possibly a different way of thinking, more patience perhaps, and maybe even lots of sub-goals. You’ll also have to become aware and do something about goals you have that you’re not aware of having that conflict with your intentions.

On your part then, paving the way to loss of weight with good intentions requires realism, the proper support, and awareness of any hidden bumps in the road.

by Maria's Last Diet

What is your absolute worst situation for staying true to your diet? Have you tried anything to make this situation better? If so, what have you tried?

Did you try very specific planning? In other words, did you spell out what to do, when you’ll do it, and how you would do it?  Take the late afternoon munchies, for example. How might you plan for that? A common plan for dieters is that they substitute diet food like fruit and veggies for the fattening snack food they had been eating. When the munchies strike, the dieter has the acceptable diet food ready and waiting. And the dieter is ready and waiting too, primed to do what she planned beforehand.

Can you think of a plan that will work if your desire for fattening snack food is more powerful than your plan to substitute diet food? This is the true test isn’t it? The true test of specific planning is when your desire to eat off your diet is greater than any plan you make to react differently? What can you do then? After all, this is just what every dieter faces.

Okay. So let’s get down to it. You’re going to have to do something about your desire. That’s all there is to it. This is no longer a matter of simply switching up food and having it at the ready. How do you go about doing something about your desire so it won’t prevail? Well, you could make a very specific plan for turning off your desire—what, when, and how, again. You could identify what triggered your desire and do a “what, when and how” to eliminate the trigger. Cut off the head and the body follows sort of thing. You could also make very specific plans to turn down your desire, cool it off, or even make plans in which you feel the desire but delay taking action until the desire is lessened.

As you can see, situations will arise when you’re dieting that call for very specific plans to address them. These are situations where food substitution or any plan that involves food will not put you on the right track. Keep in mind that very specific plans can and do work their magic with matters such as desire. So when desire or any other worst situation strikes, you can have a non-food plan ready that’s its equal. 

by Maria's Last Diet

How are your goals for yourself when you are trying to lose weight? Do you have conflicting goals? Are you ambivalent? Are your goals compatible with who you are?

“I want to work really hard on how to start losing weight, but I also don’t want to give up the kinds of snack food I love.” This is definitely a case of conflicting personal goals. Your pursuit of one goal will impede successful pursuit of the other goal.

“I’m not sure I want to work really hard on how to start losing weight. Sometimes I think I do and sometimes I think I don’t.”  Feeling ambivalent puts the ball in no one’s court because you’re of two minds.

“I should be brave, take the plunge, and work really hard to start losing weight, but this is not me right now.” When there is a discrepancy between who you are and who you believe you should be, of course you won’t be able to fulfill your weight loss goals.

If your goals are compatible with who you are and you are not in conflict or ambivalent about them, this is the best circumstance of all for trying to lose weight. However…the stars in the heavens don’t have to be in an absolutely perfect alignment before you take up the weight loss challenge. Sometimes taking the plunge before you’re all ready is a good enough way to proceed.

by Maria's Last Diet

Beth stood carelessly fingering the fringe on the dishtowel. Her main preoccupation at the moment was what to do about breakfast. Should she or shouldn’t she is the way it was going in her head. This was no easy time for her. She had collapsed last night after dinner and was snacking like she’d never snacked before. This morning she was on the verge of collapse again.

Discouraged by her behavior, Beth was facing a terrible dilemma. She had started all too well on a diet to end all diets. It was going wonderfully for such a long time. Why was her resolve failing her now?

What Beth didn’t realize was that her expectations for losing weight were unrealistic. She thought she would lose much more weight than she did. Each week a little more discouragement crept into her weight loss effort. Now she was at week twelve and she was in danger of giving up the enterprise entirely. She sensed this, but she didn’t know this. She didn’t want to tell herself that this was it, once again to suffer the indignities of quitting something she very much wanted to finish and be successful at.

Unrealistic expectations for herself and her weight are what Beth will have to reckon with if she is ever to achieve weight loss success.

by Maria's Last Diet

When it comes to losing weight, there are the goals you know and the goals you don’t know. Just think of it this way. There were certainly times when you violated your weight loss goals. Oh, you might have thought that your commitment wasn’t what it was supposed to be, or your losing weight motivation was down that day, or you didn’t have enough willpower or self-control. You probably didn’t think for one moment that your weight loss slip up was the result of a goal you didn’t know.

Such a goal could go like this. I wanted to fill myself up on junk food the way I did. I didn’t care that I was on a diet. I just wanted to have what I wanted to have, and that was that. 

To identify hidden goals that are in conflict with weight loss, try writing out a set of pros and cons for weight loss and then a complimentary set of pro’s and cons for not losing weight.

            Weight loss                 Not losing weight

            Pro       Con                   Pro          Con

Pay careful attention to the weight loss cons and the not losing weight pros. For these are the hiding places of the goals you don’t know.

by Maria's Last Diet

When you expect adverse effects to occur, you might be bringing such effects upon yourself by simply expecting them. This kind of expectation about what might happen can very well make your entire weight loss effort unsuccessful.

If your expectations, which are psychological, can influence the impact of a drug on your brain chemistry, they can certainly have an equally powerful impact on your motivation for losing weight. What you expect will happen in your daily weight loss activities makes a real difference. Research shows, for example, that slight changes in how an obstetrician describes the discomfort felt with an epidural for labor pain changes the magnitude of the pain experienced by a woman in labor.

What you expect when you’re going through the weight loss process will, like with the woman who receives an epidural, make a difference in how you tolerate the discomfort of eating less and eating differently. What you expect will also have an impact on your ability to adhere to your weight loss routine. It is critical, therefore, that you be aware of your expectations, especially your negative expectations. What you think will occur might be the very thing you cause to happen.